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True story about real hookers and escorts

I'm not "rich" by any means, but I do afford a few luxuries in life. From time to time I spend a little bit of money on things that are considered a bit um, "wrong"....

I used to pay for a maid, for example... this was back in 2002... and she used to come by the house 3 days a week. We always flirted, which was great, because I havent dated anyone on any serious level in about 4 years.

Well one day we did a lot more than flirt. We fucked each others brains out. It was great, she liked it, i liked it. It was a great situation. She still cleaned my house, only every so often we'd screw.

One day though she comes in and says that she's met someone and we cant do that any more and that she had to quit. Now not only was I not getting liad any more, but my house wasnt getting cleaned.

After about 60 days of this, I decided to seek female companionship out of the back of the yellow pages. I called an escort service here in arkansas and invited a lady over to the house, for the whopping sum of 250 dollars paid to the agency by credit card.

She shows up and I talk to her for a bit and she suddenly says "sir, we cant have sex"

"uh, pardon me?"

"Sir, I'm not allowed to do anything sexual, by both the contract you agreed to and by law. I apologize, if you misunderstood the contrat, but I'm on my period."

"Well, wanna clean up the house a bit?"

"uh... ok sure."

So anyways, she cleaned the house for the next hour. I made her start in the kitchen, then bathroom. I stood over her shoulder the whole time to make sure she was doing the job right (she did a great job btw) and when the hour was up she'd made both rooms pretty spotless.

After about 2 weeks though, the bathroom began to get ripe again. The kitchen started to pile up. I called around for a maid service and begin to realize that you have to pay ENTIRELY TOO FUCKING MUCH for a maid here in arkansas.

So what did i do? You know it, I called that escort service back. I requested the same girl "amber" but she didnt show, it was a new girl.

"Well, new girl, Its time you got started cleaning. Start in the kitchen please."

"Uhhh... cant I just suck your dick?"

"Honey, if i wanted a blowjob I would have hired a maid."

the end. True story too, except for the bits I made up, which is all of it.


Posted: Saturday 24th January 2004, 3:08 PM By Boogie



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